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Re: 关于marriage 的话题, 请JJMM 指教

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楼主
发表于 1-16-2011 11:51:35 | 只看该作者 回帖奖励 |倒序浏览 |阅读模式
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(A) http://mitbbs.com/article_t/Love/31582123.html

(B) My first reply:

A single man originally from Taiwan, I have lived in US for a quarter century.

Taiwanese do not care who another person may date or marry. That is not our
business.

I will give you advice.
(a) Neither in Taiwan nor in the West, a person--a man or a woman--can force
another another to marry him or her. So I disagree with Supersaiyan for
saying 我最不待见别人说"女人不能逼婚.
(b) Every Sunday New York Times (NYT) publishes free wedding announcemnets
in Style section (Washington Post also has it).* When the story (how we met
or how tortuous, off-and -on the courtship was) is interesting, NYT tells it
(NYT verifies things, so a couple can not give a tall tale).

* It is in its website too. Go to today's home page and it is "Weddings and
Celebrations" in the midline of the mid-page. Tell you the truth, I have
religiously study this section every Sunday for 1 1/2 decades once I stumped
upon it. Few people in this world will honestly tell you things like that.
At the very least, one can learn about Americana. (Your boyfriend is
European and I have never been there. So I do not want to prentend I
understand them, Europeans. The fact is, I do not.)

Reading it will get you acquainted with what to do when one half of a couple
declines or refuses to get married.

The short answer is the other person will leave a relationship. If the first
person get lovesick--you know, humans treasure things often after they (
things) are lost--they get married. If not, the go separate ways. The catch
is, the other person may regret years or DECADES later (after their separate
spouses died).

My observation in all those who get married (again in NYT) after long
separation (again years or decades long) is when the other person reaches
back, the first person takes him or her back, without being hostile. This is
the key. Get it?

If one can not wait years or decades, if one can not put a lid on his or her
anger, hurt, the person will blow it. Like my former girlfriend did.

--
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沙发
 楼主| 发表于 1-16-2011 11:52:33 | 只看该作者

Re: 关于marriage 的话题, 请JJMM 指教

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(C) My second reply:

My dear. You are right in that precarious time (no, I am not talking about
ovulation). Look before you jump. Do not let hormones mess up your brain--or
judgment.

(1) Online dating  l  Love at First Byte; Online-dating sites have made it
easier for people to click with one another. But they still leave something
to be desired. Economist, Dec 29, 2010.
http://www.economist.com/node/17797424?story_id=17797424&fsrc=rss

Quote:

"FOR the lovelorn, the new year can be an unhappy time, as they cast envious
glances in the direction of lovey-dovey couples at the season’s parties.
For online-dating agencies, it is a golden opportunity, as people who have
spent the holidays ruminating over unsatisfactory or non-existent love lives
log on in their thousands, hoping to find romance—ideally before February
14th. “The period between New Year’s Day and Valentine’s Day is our
busiest six weeks of the year,” explains Sam Yagan, the boss of OkCupid, a
big American dating site.

My comment:
(a) Statistics show that for a couple, the time leading to Valentine's day
is the most treacherous of a year. People dump or get dumped--to get a new
start, to save money for a gift that one no longer love, etc.
(b) Harrison means "son of Harry."
(c) I have not heard of Zoosk, but I am not on the market.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zoosk
(based in San Francisco; Launched 2007)
(d) http://JiaYuan.com 佳缘网
http://ZhenAi.com 珍爱网
(e) For Ave Maria, see Hail Mary
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hail_Mary
(Hail Mary, or Ave Maria (Latin) is a traditional biblical catholic prayer
asking for the intercession of the Virgin Mary; section 1 Biblical source: "
In mid-13th-century")
(f) Cupidtino is a play on Cupertino, California
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cupertino, California
(best known as home to — and worldwide headquarters of — Apple, Inc.;
section 1 Name origin)
(g) The article stated a study "concluded that among heterosexual couples
who met in 2009, the internet had become the third most common way of making
initial contact—behind introductions from friends, but almost on a par
with encounters in bars and restaurants.

I am surprised that in bars and restaurants one can find a future spouse.
Then I thought again. The wedding announcements in Sunday's New York Times
occasionally record this phenomenon: the announcements probes thinkings of
the couple who at first blush tend to pooh pooh the idea of meeting someone
serious in those places. My guess a suiot will have to bend over backward to
demonstrate that the perosn is not a playboy or playgirl.
(h) starry-eyed (adj): "regarding an object or a prospect in an overly
favorable light; specifically : characterized by dreamy, impracticable, or
utopian thinking"  www.m-w.com
(i) The article continued, "One is its ability to create large pools of
potential partners that would be hard to replicate in the real world. This
explains why online dating has proven especially popular with, for example,
homosexuals.

I always has a soft spot for people in minority.
(j) The article mention Plentyoffish. I thought it was an adjective ending
with "ish." No.

Plentyof Fish
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/PlentyofFish
(Founded 2003; Headquarters Vancouver, Canada)
(k) IAC (company)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/IAC_(company)
((legal name: IAC/InterActiveCorp); an internet company; The Chairman and
Senior Executive is Barry Diller)
(l) assignation (n): "an appointment of time and place for a meeting;
especially : tryst <returned from an assignation with his mistress — W. B.
Yeats>"
(m) A few days ago, USA Today published a chart at left lower corner of page
A1. I don't have access to the paper now. But you will be surprised that
how many people confessed they made up their social networking web pages. (
to be continued in a few days).
(n) The article talked about niche web dating websites.

* Stephanie Rosenbloom, Narrowing the Field Before Playing It. New York
Times, Jan 6, 2011.
http://www.nytimes.com/2011/01/06/fashion/06Niche.html_r=1&scp=3&sq=dating%20online&st=cse
("WHOM do you want to date? A bookworm? A beauty queen? A virgin?")

Many Chinese are obssessed with virginity of their future spouse. It is fine
with me. I just want to tell them there are sites like this.

* Hannah Seligson, You're Reading That Book Too? Marry Me. New trends in
online matchingmaking. Wall Street Journal (WSJ), Sept 17, 2010.
http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052748703466704575490210959002350.html

Marcel Proust
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marcel_Proust
(1871-1922; French)

The report inte4rviewed a guy named China Ma. Well, we have a football
player named Taiwan Jones, of Eastern Washington University.
http://www.goeags.com/sports/m-footbl/2010-11/bios/jones%20taiwn00.html

Attaboy!
http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/attaboy

【 在 choi 的大作中提到: 】
: (A) http://mitbbs.com/article_t/Love/31582123.html
: (B) My first reply:
: A single man originally from Taiwan, I have lived in US for a quarter century.
: Taiwanese do not care who another person may date or marry. That is not our
: (以下引言省略...)

--
※ 来源:.一路BBS http://yilubbs.com [FROM: 129.10.0.0]

※ 修改:.choi 于 Jan 16 15:00:57 修改本文.[FROM: 129.10.0.0]
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板凳
 楼主| 发表于 1-16-2011 11:57:17 | 只看该作者

Re: 关于marriage 的话题, 请JJMM 指教

本文通过一路BBS站telnet客户端发布

(D) My third reply:

(1) 外F? The same old issue.

I do not know about you. But I have a tin ear.

http://www.answers.com/topic/tin-ear-rock-band
(etymology: From the idea of metal being incapable of sensation)

China, but not Taiwan, has a phrase 我是婊子我怕誰.

(2) In my second year in US, around 1985, an American friend told me that a
fiend of his, a dental student with University of Illinois, had a Taiwanese
girlfriend. (Both were white male college students.) Half a year later, I
was told that they borke up. I did not feel anything. Things happen.

(3) Lev Grossman, 2010 Person of the Year Mark Zuckerburg. Time, Dec 27,
2010 (cover date).
http://www.time.com/time/specials/packages/article/0,28804,2036683_2037183,00.html

Quote:

"Almost seven years ago, in February 2004, when Zuckerberg was a 19-year-old
sophomore at Harvard, he started a Web service from his dorm. It was called
Thefacebook.com, and it was billed as 'an online directory that connects
people through social networks at colleges.' This year, Facebook — now
minus the the — added its 550 millionth member. One out of every dozen
people on the planet has a Facebook account.

"He's not a physically imposing presence: maybe 5 ft. 8 in. (173 cm), with a
Roman nose, a bantam-rooster chest and a close-fitting cap of curly brown
hair. He dresses like a frat boy, in T-shirts and jeans * * * In the movie [
Social Networking], this played as him looking down his nose at you, but in
real life it's more like he's standing on his tiptoes, trying to see over
something.

"The Zuckerberg of the movie is a simple creature of clear motivations: he
uses his outsize gifts as a programmer to acquire girls, money and party
invitations. This is a fiction. In reality, Zuckerberg already had the girl:
Priscilla Chan, who is now a third-year med student at University of
California, San Francisco. They met at Harvard seven years ago, before he
started Facebook. Now they live together in Palo Alto.

"As for money, his indifference to it is almost pathological. His lifestyle
is modest by most standards but monastic for someone whose personal fortune
was estimated by Forbes at $6.9 billion, a number that puts him ahead of his
Palo Alto neighbor (and fellow college dropout) Steve Jobs. Zuckerberg
lives near his office in a house that he rents. He works constantly; his
only current hobby is studying Chinese. He drives a black Acura TSX, which
for a billionaire is the automotive equivalent of a hair shirt. For
Thanksgiving break, he took his family to the Wizarding World of Harry
Potter in Orlando. He bought a wand at Ollivander’s.

"Zuckerberg has a personal connection to the teaching profession — Chan
taught grade school after Harvard

"China has blocked the site [Facebook] since 2009.


Note:
(a) Aquiline nose
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aquiline_nose
(The word aquiline comes from the Latin word aquilinus ("eagle-like"), a
reference to the curved beak of an eagle)
(b) Bantam (poultry)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bantam_(poultry)
(A bantam is a small variety of poultry, especially chickens. Etymologically
, the name bantam is derived from the city of Bantam) in the western tip of
Java island
(c) The print edition  but not online version of Time magazine has a photo
of Ms. Chan--along with the entire Zuckerbergs, in Orlando. See Quotation 4.
(d) Also in the print is a map. Under Japan: "1,773,640 [users;] In Japan,
users can post their blood type on their profile--the only regional
variation on the site"

【 在 choi 的大作中提到: 】
: (C) My second reply:
: My dear. You are right in that precarious time (no, I am not talking about
: ovulation). Look before you jump. Do not let hormones mess up your brain--or
: judgment.
: (1) Online dating  l  Love at First Byte; Online-d
: (以下引言省略...)

--
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